Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I think maybe I should take a week off here soon. The weather is getting nicer, I have three weeks vacation saved up, and it would be really good for Rosie and I to spend a week together. Go to the sci-fi museum, EMP, visit some parks. You know, kind of an around town vacation- do the underground tour, go out one night, etc.

I just feel a little overloaded today. A lot is going on, and I feel more and more responsible for more and more things in life. At work, which is going nutso with no direction or leadership and half our team layed off, at church where we have a new leadership team that seems foreign and more removed from our influence, getting our house in order with carpet, paint, a new bed, finances running pretty slim, and so on, Judah giving us a LOT more attitude lately, and the very large looming question of the next child, which seems to have gotten a lot more complicated in the last two days. Just a lot of weight, y'know? And it only gets weightier from here on out, for the foreseeable future. Work doesn't look promising for the next long while, but there aren't really any other internal jobs I can snag since there are, you know, an additional few thousand unemployed microsofties hangin around grabbing them all. Kids- the number only goes up. I need to get on my knees and really give all of this over to God in a better way. Sometimes I feel like I'm serving, giving, working, all of my hours away... I guess I look around me here at work and I don't see anyone else going and doing the things I do after work. They go drink and watch TV, chill at a beach, do whatever they want, but when I get home, my 2nd job starts, if it even includes going home that day. It's pushing me towards really disliking my job a lot more. I have even more trouble getting up in the morning, being motivated to serve Microsoft, and so on. it's a really hard job, and it drains me, and I don't like that. :(

God, take my weights away and help show me that my burdens are light and I serve you above all things. I am your servant, I am your son, and you take care of me.

2 comments:

Rosemary Ochs said...

Amen.

Kat said...

Sounds like a Staycation!