Thursday, February 15, 2007

So, I'm married now, and its basically awesome. No, it doesn't "feel" different, I didn't think it would, really, but its nice to not haveto drive home every night after being with Rosie. A lot of the differences really are not around the core of how our relationship works, but more around the fringe things in life: how to budget, save for things, plan for things, so on. It feels a lot harder to me, because now, I don't haveto just save for the stuff I want, I haveto save for the stuff we both want.

Realistically: I don't really care that much about a new couch. A cheapie whatever would be fine and thats that. But Rosie does, so, as a couple, that means we both do. I don't have a problem with that whatsoever, because I want her to feel like I value her needs and wants- and I do- but its just a little less important personally to me. But thats not what I wanted to blog about. What I wanted to blog about, was, being married means you haveto constantly fight the want to be selfish. To go spend your extra cash on stuff you want. To do it whatever you want. You can't really do any of that, at all. You haveto kind of supress all of your urges to do anything like that, write it down on a list, and get to it when its actually feasible for the both of you and the couple's needs. I hate waiting... :)

Its definitely a sacrifice for being married. I must say, it is well worth it though- being married is the best thing ever. Waking up next to someone you love with all of your heart every morning is probably the most special thing in the world.

I must say, it is hard to repress those things, but God provides, and its not like we're dying or going without food. We just grow up in a society where, if you want something, go buy it. Think about how to pay for it later. And things I've invested in previously are paying off here and there and providing some extra cash, so hopefully we can feel a little less restrained sometime soon in the future.

I've always kind of had an ideal idea of my life when I'm older: Married to a wonderful woman, have my own house, have an amazing job, nice car, all of those things, be in ministry, full time in love with God, and I've got all those things now. Its great. But, its not nearly as easy as it sounds. I guess, it sounds so ideal, that you kind of space on the total workload it takes to have all of these things. Well, I just had a talk with my new boss's boss, (yes, I always have new ones) and he talked to me about future schooling. I've been kind of working around this for the last few years, well, because, I was busy in ministry and getting married and buying a house, etc. Well my excuses are relatively gone. And I felt like God was telling me not to go, because I had more immediate things he needed me to do. But I'm praying, and not feeling that any more. That scares me a bit. I dont really want to go back to school- think about two nights a week of your life sucked away for the next ten years in order to get a piece of paper that says your smart. Urgh. That load sounds painful. And some of the only reasons to do it are for more money at my job and career development. It just sounds a little too like "career man" to me for comfort. On the other hand, I'd be 31, have a bachelors, probably make 100g a year, retire an easy multi-millionaire, be a well educated christian (why are these so rare) and be a great role model in our church. Not to mention all of the opportunities at college to meet new people, and carry out personal ministry there. I mean, when you step on campus, your in-love with God status doesn't go away, and you aren't any less devoted to ministry- instead of it being at church, the setting is a bit different.

Its just a scary proposition. Either way, its going to haveto wait at least 6 months, until Rosie and I can settle into a good comfortable situation and learn how to be married. I'm looking into grabbing an MCSE cert in the meantime to satiate the career development push my boss has so brashly pushed down the chain.


I always thought it'd get easier once I settle down and have a wife. :( sure I thought the wife part would require a lot of work. but not career development and, well, still trying to suck the meaning out of life as the years pass by. It aint easy!

And, for all of you crazy people that tell me to blog more.

I'll blog more if you comment more. suckers.


Anonymous said...

i'll comment on your blog if you comment on mine!


Rosemary said...

Yeah, but don't you think it's cliche for your wife to always comment on your blog and always have something to say? Maybe that's just me. Well fine then.

Marriage was different for me, in the sense that it wasn't different at all. I thought it would be, but no one is really treating me any differently, which is what I wanted, but didn't expect. And I know what you mean about not being selfish, but we can all use some of that.

I love you. More.

Kat said...

I do comment.