I've been feeling a bit spiritually dry lately.
I mean, I still feel completely anointed and in love with God, and the fruits are totally in my life (miraculous prayers coming true mere hours after I pray them, awesome prayer times, great revelations)
not to mention my actions of sacrifice, and commitment to God are no less whatsoever, putting Him first in everything I do.
Life just gets so busy that the passion slowly gets leaked out of it sometimes. For me, its been wedding planning, work, working on my financial life (getting ready for marriage is a lot more than it seems- truly) and all of the other parts of life, that it just seems a bit like a routine after a while. Not that I'm not content or anything- I've basically got the best fiancée in the world, and I serve a living God (a lot more than most can claim..) and I've got awesome opportunities in every area of my life. So life is good, but, at this time in my life, leading up to marriage, preparing for a very new, very different lifestyle, I find myself in a season (christianese please) of my life where I am more concentrating on the details than the emotions. Which is fine, this stuff needs to get taken care of, and of course the experience of it all is necessary for my future. Serving God isn't always falling on your face and feeling broken. It's often obeying his will for your life in other areas that don't feel so emotional- being responsible, taking care of things, tithing. I mean, it doesn't make me feel especially close to God when I'm planning an NXG event or giving someone a ride back to church, but all in all- it is service to God. I guess my most intense feelings at this time are for Rosemary. Which makes sense- this is supposed to be some of the best times of my life.
Even when I'm standing up at the front worshipping and giving God my all- I feel like I am more aware of my surroundings and a little less plugged in than usual. Not that I'm not giving it my all, but more that I'm making sure the service is running alright and looking for opportunities to help the service or the people.
It feels like the practicalities of loving God are starting to rise to the top now, instead of the purely spiritual side of things. It sure does take quite a bit of maturity to walk through these learning periods with your devotions and services intact.
Love ya all,