Wednesday, May 26, 2004

I was prompted to write this volume after hearing a pretty good sermon at New Heart Worship Center, where pastor Joe talked about finding your purpose in God. If you are seeking God's will, he will use you. If you are not ready, he will pass you by.
This volume is very convicting for me, and it might be for you, too.

Things Left Unsaid, Vol. 3

"I'm a good person."

You must obtain drive for your life to feel purposeful. Motivation comes and makes people feel better about themselves, because they are working toward accomplishing something. People have a need, or want, really, to feel purposeful- so their drive and motivation has some selfish reasoning behind it.
Have your cake and eat it too. It makes you feel better about yourself.
Convince yourself you are a good person.
Most people are good people. They will help old ladies across the street, give a homeless guy some money, etc.

People do enough to feel like they are a good person. That is good, but it makes people complacent and only do enough to make themselves feel that they are good.

This is what makes people ineffective! Passive!

Chronically depressed people probably see this, and just decide not to convince themselves they are good people.
But society has put a taboo on depressed people... Give them drugs! They are wrong!
Maybe they aren't wrong. Low self-esteem people just don't try to make themselves feel better.

Humans are thick with selfish delusions of "I'm a good person."

Maybe you even do good things out of your heart. You are a good person, then. But it still makes you feel good about yourself.

Whats wrong with this?
nothing, really. Except thats all you will end up doing your life. Probably nothing really life changing, just enough to make you feel like you are a good person on this earth. Might even die happy.

Only God can give you the kind of purpose to lift you out of this complacent lifestyle.

He will give you true purpose, and I promise you, each and every one of you, if you find God's purpose for you, you will be more than a good person. You will do more than you have ever dreamed of.

You probably are a good person.
Don't die a good person, die as a servant of God.

Most Sincerely and Respectfully,

Ricky Ochs

Sunday, May 23, 2004

I think I'm convinced that its just web crawlers tripping my page counter, not actual real people.
So I am safe in sanctity.

So my paintball gun was having fits again on saturday. Got some good playing in, but I think I'm going to send the gun back and get her all fixed up.
She is a great gun, but she has a real attitude.
I'll get the board replaced and everything should work dandy.
I'm thinking of maybe getting a CP barrel kit, a spring kit and lowering my pressure, and a new spudnukl bolt.. although everyone talks about how spudnukl is not sending out its orders and is keeping the cash, and you can't get a hold of them. Too late, I ordered mine last week... well, its okay, I'll get a refund thru visa.
went to my one year old cousin's birthday party today.
she got more presents than any other birthday kid I've ever seen in my life.
and now I'm kind of melancholy... I miss my girlfriend.
Church was good, and I've got a few good ideas for "Things Left Unsaid" Vol. 3.
I think I might start writing about it tonight or in the next day or two.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

crap, I'm a speak and spell...
I always liked those things.

Today I am off to Lindmark Mills to configure an NT4 network with a new proxy configuration.
Instead of a cheap dialup proxy, I'm going to set up a router configuration with DHCP for the network. I'm going to haveto tear down all of the static routes. ugh.
We also have three new client machines on their way.
I might haveto reconstruct all of the employee's personal links to the NT4 server if the paths are different, but DNS should still work over the workgroup and prevent that from happening.
It is kind of nice, being free of the oppression of retail work. Now I am gearing up for a real job that I have been learning for all my life.
With lindmark and OSC both paying me this summer it should be enough cash to cover the bases while still giving me enough time to look for my dream job and gear up for college.
I wish there was an easy way to do all of this work.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

So here I am on a sunday afternoon.
Yesterday was my last day of work... and what a piece of work it was.
I had been wanting to go paintballing this specific saturday for quite some time, because several of my good friends were going. The issue was, work. Ugh. Well, I had everything worked out, I called up work and got my schedule moved around so I worked 4-10, instead of the usual 3-10. Gave me some time, but I'd still haveto leave the paintball field pretty early to get to work. That was okay, in my mind.
And then, because of my own neglect, my car finally lets me know that this neglect will go no further- the leaking radiator hose finally started to really leak. So I had to take her in...
And so here I was, without a car, a means of getting to either the paintball field or work.
So I figured, well, I'm screwed. If I can manage a ride to the field, I would get home around oh, 4:30 or much later. And even then, I wouldnt have a way to work...
So the first thing I did was ask my mother if she really needed the use of her car that day. No, not really, she said. So, great, I was back in business. Until my dad walked into the room and very bluntly put that her car would not be used to transport me to a paintball field. Well then. Still up a creek without a paddle.
So I figured I could just say screw it, and either not go to paintball, or not go to work.
So after countless hours of thinking about it, talking with girlfriends for advice, etc. I figured I'd just leave a message for the guy that might pick me up in the morning for paintball, and if he showed up to pick me up in the morning, then I'd go, if he didnt, I'd go to work.
So the morning of, I wake up and see I have a message from this friend, and it states, "Naw, I can't pick you up, I am going to stay at the field til 4ish, and you need to leave at 2:30 or so." Obviously he didnt know that I had resolved to just forget about work if I went to play paintball.
Mind you, this would be my first time of ever being late to work, or ever really thinking about skipping it in any form. In all of the 6 years I've been working. So I just went back to bed and felt frustrated.
And then at about 9 am, I heard some cars pull up and I looked out the window to see the two cars of people there, to pick me up. Well well. I was in my boxers, with nothing ready to go play paintball.
I ran out the door, said "I'll be ready in two minutes!" and promptly threw everything I needed together and ran out the door.
So we played paintball. And it was good.
My boss had known about my car situation, so he didnt even know if I was going to show up at all. But after I was on my way home, already late, I found a message from my boss, saying, "I guess this means you wont be making it." I called the store back and said "I'll be right there, I got a car to use!" So I took a quick shower and drove my mom's car to work.. which, all in all, I was only 40 minutes late.
What a day. And then, since its my last day of work, it was filled with sad thoughts of goodbyes...
What a day. So I just now woke up and came down, and decided to explain all of this, because someone important to me told me of my infrequent blogging.
I miss you.

Friday, May 14, 2004

So now that Google has bought up Blogger, they added quite a few features, such as comments! Yay!
So I worked last night, I work tonight, and I work on saturday.
and I'm extremely tired, and I'm getting calls from Lindmark to go fix their network because they are getting a DSL line put in.

And everyone is trying to talk me into playing paintball on saturday right before work...
oh my. I don't think I have any will to oppose that idea, so I'll just be extremely tired at work...
oh well.
I might have fun, its worth it.
yeah I'm tired...
and I work.
so yeah...
last few days of work...

Friday, May 07, 2004

I work today.
dissapointed about that.
but I'm going paintballing tomorrow!
yay. Maybe somebody will go with me.
Well, otherwise, life sucks, and theres not much there.
Worked at lindmark yesterday. We decided on 20/hr for the work.
I sat there for 45 minutes watching a file compress, and talking computer nonsense to the employees for another hour, all while dollars were slipping into my pocket.
Thats nice.
Well I don't think I have anything else to say.
Have a nice day.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

So I haven't updated in a while.
So some stuff has changed...
Sister moved out of the house, back with her husband, (thank God, I love her but she can be annoying)
I quit gamestop! Yay! The poor management and horrible treatment of employees is now behind me.
The reasoning behind quitting gamestop:
1. I have a somewhat new sustained income, from two sources:
OSC is paying me to teach the summer Microsoft Certification class.
A company called Lindmark Mills is going to start paying me to be their on-call IT guy, for around 25-30 an hour.
2. Gamestop. Ever since I started, over 19 months ago, their employee treatment has gotten worse and worse. From lowering discounts, to poor scheduling and store management, and even no compensations for amazing sales records.
There are a few good things, like being elligable to use the microsoft retailer's store and training sites, which let you get free copies of certain titles once in a while if you pass their little tests.

But anyways, I feel FREE!
retail throws a rope around your heart and if you don't escape, you'll be stuck in a working class position all your life.
I don't want that...
On to BCC!
but a microsoft position would be best for me right now... like a 3-9 server op shift or something like that. Then I would be completely set.
Although I must say with college and jobs, it doesnt leave a lot of time for a social life.
I'll make time for those important to me.
Now I just need to enjoy my last few weeks of High School, and keep my eyes peeled for a more solid IT position.

I'm still all very confused about who actually reads this. Shoot me an e-mail!